This was a week of attempted focus on writing. I can proudly say I finished a couple short film scripts – atleast the first drafts. I was in London three times this week – mostly for meetings/workshops. There is always time for browsing though. I found myself at National Gallery friday night. This is a portrait gallery in Trafalgar Square. I should take you there sometime. I followed the map given to me and to my great surprise, discovered my favorite painters’ work were held in this very gallery – Van Gogh and Claude Monet. To see an original masterpiece and not a photocopy from Michael’s was quite exciting. I paused.
Yesterday I had a workshop called “Premise and Pitching” held at the University of London. I arrived early, again, and drank in the morning academic air. There were 15 students in the workshop lead by Charles Harris, Writer/Director. I was excited for the day, but admittedly very tired from the week. The day involved learning elements of a good pitch when you get those few precious moments with a producer – what do they want to hear? We were coupled off to write good and bad pitches. At the end of the day we were given the opportunity, should we so choose, to pitch our own idea and have it critiqued. Usually at the point when you’re pitching you should have a solid screenplay, or atleast the idea nailed down. I felt that at that point more confused than before about my ideas and kept silent. I chose not to pitch and left feeling like crying. In the rain. Is this for me? I got home feeling defeated asking myself, and God, many questions. Then as I wiped the stove for the umpteenth time it hit me. How do you feel when you walk into a theatre auritorium? How do you feel when you dance, inspire others through stage or see a live production? God asked me. I feel alive. I feel lit up inside and out. And it hit me. My love and passion for stage is stronger than for film. I love being on a set and the experience of “the movies”. But for me, what I am learning, my heart – is theatre. AND THAT IS OKAY. For a while I’ve been confused, striving to do both. But perhaps the boggle of yesterday cleared up some details for me that though it felt like an “off” day – it taught me something. My energies must be where my heart is.