Real Life

What Not To Do…Anytime, Anywhere

October 18, 2008

Everyone has had that dream where you board the school bus naked … right?

Or had that awkward moment when someone knows you, shouts your name across the aisle and can hardly BELIEVE they ran into you …  and you can’t even remember their name…?!

In honor of embarrassing moments, I (along with some friends’ experiences) have polished off a list of life’s “what not to do’s”:

– Don’t walk into your boss’s office in the morning and shout “how’d you make out last night?” Awkward. Save yourself the blushing and just say “how are you this morning?”

– If you’re in a grocery line up, and get that neat notion to pull a hair off someone’s shoulder, make sure it is NOT attached first. The uncomfortable squeel of a random stranger would be more horrifying than resisting the urge to have everyone in the market hair-free.

– Don’t wear white shorts or trunks to the beach. Save yourself and the community of happy children the embarrassment.

– If you’re on a road trip with some friends with no bathroom in sight, and you “happen” to be wearing overalls (ok, maybe not these days, but true story)… make sure the straps are out of the way before you stop on the side of the road to find relief. The don’t? Don’t wear overalls. Period.

– Don’t assume that because you cry to the police officer about your recent heartbreak that he will let you off scotch-free. Just don’t speed at 60km in a school zone.

– Don’t wear a skirt on a windy English day. Or windy Canadian day for that matter. Opt for trousers.

– Make sure if you’re learning a new language, such as Spanish, that you know your verbs. You don’t want to think you’re saying “good night” when you’re actually saying “nice butt”. Buenas noches.

If you MUST congratulate every woman you meet on their pregnancy, CONFIRM first that they’re actually pregnant.

More “what not to do’s”?

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  • Chelsey October 22, 2008 at 4:46 PM

    I love the “what not to do’s” that was great! I don’t think I’ve done any of them specifically, but I definitely have a book of my own coming along on the topic. XO

  • teeveebee October 24, 2008 at 5:14 AM

    Ah, asking someone when their baby is due when they are not even pregnant…that’s a mistake you only make once.

    I can realate to your point about learning a foreign language, too. Once, someone asked me in Spanish, “Estas casada?” (Are you married?). I thought they said, “Estas caNsada?”( Are you tired?).

    So, thinking that I was asked, “Are you tired?”, I actually answered the question, “Are you married?”, by promptly replying, “Si, un poquito.” (Yes, a little bit).

    That’s life. Live and learn! 🙂

  • Brenna December 18, 2008 at 6:07 PM

    I was there for the overall incident, and I do agree, just never wear overalls. And the good night or nice butt, I opt for nice butt every time. It’s funny.

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