. on a bad hair/skin/mood day kindly avoid in public anyone you just don’t feel like making small talk with. They spot you. DOH! OH, so good to see you! And you deliver an Academy award winning performance for how delighted and heartfelt you are to see them. Right.
. meander into the bathroom (multiple stalls), choose one where you didn’t just see the previous toilet resident occupy. Come on, we all know that seeing the bum warmer before you is gross!
. habitually are drawn to stores or restaurants that offer 2 for 1. Even if you are just 1, somehow the fact that you got the unneeded 2 is still a celebrated consumer victory.
. have an opinion on something, just for the sake of having an opinion. Make sure its yours you have.
. go on election day to vote, clueless, and choose the one you have the warmest distaste for. Or the name you like the best. Citizen’s duty fulfilled. Would it hurt us to get a little more informed?
. choose new pet names based on what you cooked that day (right Mom!)
. enter a first date loaded with questions. Oh, you don’t like that I want to know your mother’s friends’ favourite teacher’s name in grade one? A reporter’s demise. Granted.
. read a magazine from back to front, pictures first. (is that just me?!)
. turn the water/fan on in the bathroom so as to drown out the noise
. anything offered FREE you take, even if you don’t want, like, need or know what it is
Got your own?
(NOTE: If you did not sense any sarcasm in any notes above, perhaps you’re either a) not Canadian b) don’t know me well enough c) need to get a sense of humour)