Last night Troy and I went out for Italian – to a place I’d never been. We wanted a chance to dress up and try something new. As conversation goes lately, we got talking about parenting, discipline, scheduling – and what we want. I said that I know it’ll be a huge transition, but he has my word I will do what I can to be kind and step back when I need to, and ask God and people for help. It’s a new stage of our adventure, and I can’t wait to see Troy be a Daddy! He said how even in those harder first few months where we’re adjusting, we’ll have to gospel ourselves, like we need to every day anyway; knowing that even that season of infanthood is temporary. That led us to talk about the season we each feel we are in with God right now.
And then Troy said, “You know, not every time with God has to be something writeable.”
Pressure off. Because to be honest, sometimes lately, I don’t hear Him a lot. I have no doubt He is with us, I know He’s in our midst (Zech 3:17). But I’m more and more honest with the Lord that sometimes, I just don’t hunger like I want to. But I guess, in actual fact, wanting to hunger, is being hungry 😉
As a writer, and one who comes from years of looking for some emotion or hype to let me know if I’m on track with God, it’s easy to lay my expectation that God must pound me with something powerful every time I sit to read the Word and pray. To justify my time with Him that something profound was spoken. But when I think of the other covenant relationship I am in, marriage, it’s not like that at all.
I have been married 15 months and I can honestly say I love and know my husband better today than the day we said I do. It’s not daily fireworks and sizzle like I might have expected. It’s building a life together – trusting, sharing, communicating, flirting in the kitchen, working at it, and investing in each other. All of that, grows our love for each other. We are shown all throughout the Bible, that God relates marriage to that of His relationship with His people.
It’s a constant seeking of the other person.
I believe our relationship with the Lord should be the same. Sometimes it’s profound and sparkles, and sometimes we’re investing in habits and digging wells so that God can fill them, in His time.
The character of John Newton in the movie Amazing Grace says to William Wilberforce when he’s questioning his life’s path:
“God sometimes does his work like gentle drizzle, not storms.”
We must keep digging – keep seeking. Some days will be writeable, and some days will be digging days, where you and the Lord are investing together for something deeper to happen.
Because even a gentle drizzle, in its constancy, is writeable.