“What have you got against PEAS?!” I asked of my new husband. It seemed such an innocent vegetable not to like. I soon discovered Troy also didn’t really care for cheesecake (aghast!), most fruit (no!), or salt & vinegar chips (oh good grief!). He would take vanilla over my chocolate any day, and some days, I can eat him under the table (before being pregnant and nursing!). We just have different tastes and needs based on our experiences and physical make-up.
Soon, we will introduce Elizabeth to food and I can hardly wait (really, I can) to watch her discover food. But at this four-month point, her little belly is not yet ready to receive the food we eat. But in a short time, her system will be ready to receive new things that will help her grow strong, even if it makes her gassy at first as she adjusts. We’ll continue to discover what foods are good for her, and ones she doesn’t like or need.
The word “foodie” has become really popular lately. In fact, my Pinterest board of recipes is labeled Foodie. I love trying new recipes and eating healthy; pregnancy and nursing took that to a whole new level. Food is a gift that God has given us for strengthening our bodies, but everyone has different tastes. But, do I devour His word the way I learn and devour food these days? Do I scavenge for scripture, hungry for what will feed my soul, the way I devour good recipes, knowing they’ll be good for me?
No, not near enough.
And it’s ultimately the “food” I need the most.
In Proverbs 30, a man named Agur laments and repents to God, realizing what kind of man he is. Sinful, and in great need of saving. Recently, I’ve been chewing over Proverbs 30:8 where Agur says, “…feed me with the food that is needful for me.” Ultimately, He was asking God to give him what he needed (whether it be poverty or riches) as long as it kept him in relationship and repentance to God. He was afraid of what either riches or poverty might do to him, so he simply asked the Lord to feed him with what was needed.
And I find myself daily asking God to feed me with what I need. More heart knowledge of Him? Always. Grace? Yep. A deeper understanding of the redeeming work of the gospel in my heart? Please, more! Lest I get swept away in new motherhood duties, feeling I know what I’m doing, and forget to lean on You in it all. Or lest I fall so far into self-doubt that I forget that You hand-picked us to be her parents.
And the beauty and great reminder of it all? That my ‘food’ and needs will be vastly different from yours, and vice-versa. I have to CONSTANTLY fix my eyes on our path so as not to get swayed by how someone else does it, did it, or thinks it (anything!) should be done.
And when I catch myself being anxious, doubting, or looking too much to the right or to the left, I remind myself that it’s all a gift; every last bit of it. The babe growing so sweetly. The husband working away from home, while I’d rather him be home every night. The home. The friendships. The family. The health. It’s all a gift from Him anyway. And He will feed me with what is needful for me in this season!
I hope as you start your week, that whatever your needs are, that you pause with me and ask God to feed us with what is needful – no more, no less. It’s all a gift.