I remember the moment very clearly, when I met my husband, Troy. We met online, and communicated for about 10 days before we met. I was standing in the middle of the gardens of a downtown park, at 9:30 on a hot summer morning. I was so nervous that my first words, other than “nice to meet you”, were “I have to pee!” We had never talked on the phone, so I wondered what his voice would be like. Thankfully, it was instant ease for both of us. We spent every free moment of the next five days together as I showed him my favourite places around the city, went to a Latino market, took him to church, and even met his mom and step-dad. Love grew as we spent time together, and it wasn’t long before we both knew we never wanted to say good-bye.
As my love for Troy grew, as I learned his character and heart, my trust in Him grew too. I knew he’d be a man that would protect, provide, and cherish me. I could see how he’d be a great Dad, and a man who would challenge and support me. As I spent time with him, the roots of love grew deeper, and my trust grew alongside that.
Trust grows as love deepens.
The greatest commandment that Jesus gave us was to love the “Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, your mind and your strength (Luke 10:27, Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30-31, Deuteronomy 6:5).
For much of my life, I think I’ve tried to put trust before love. I tried to do and obey and be the good Christian girl I wanted and needed to be. I truly wanted Him, but something still felt missing. I’d ask myself, “Do I reaaaallly love Him? Like I want to?” When you live out of a ‘do-er’ heart, rather than a simple and beautiful love for Jesus, you can easily get swept up in religiosity, anxiety, comparison, and all things that are works and striving motivated.
Then enters grace.
As my prayer has turned more to, “Reveal Yourself to me, Lord” and asking Him to help me to love Him for Him, and not what He can do for me, I find that my heart is changing to, “But I WANT to obey and trust Him, BECAUSE I love Him so much.” He is changing my heart to love Him, on the good days and the hard days. And in the meantime, he is removing the weight of all the things that I often add to our relationship 😉
In Ephesians 3:17-19 we read, “so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith – that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”
That phrase “rooted and grounded” refers to building a house. If you look at the cross-reference for grounded (BlueLetterBible.org is a great resource!), it refers to where Jesus was talking about building our house on a rock – Jesus! (Matthew 7:24-25, Luke 6:48)
I planted some parsley and some pansies this week. We went to this beautiful greenhouse and café for Family Day, and I was just itching to buy some seeds and plant something. When we got home, I was ready to dive in to the dirt, and just get it done. But I chose to research how to grow parsley inside, and it suggested to soak the seeds overnight, thus speeding up the normally slow germinating process. I decided to go the route that would give me the best seeds, rather than what was quick. It sounds small, but for me to wait, to take the time to do it right, is evidence of God working in my heart to submit to processes so that roots can go down deep! Small progress, right?!
We were created to love and enjoy Jesus. There will be so many things in this life that vie for that attention, but we must start here, or everything else is a struggle.
Jesus wants us to know Him, to love Him, AND to trust Him. But let’s start by letting Him reveal Himself. Start by waiting in His presence, getting rooted. Start by studying His character, His heart. Put aside everything we think we need to do to become who He wants us to be. And let Him change our hearts first, to ground us in Him. And watch trust flow naturally out of that changed and rooted heart.