Faith Real Life

Go on and flourish

April 26, 2017

So much can affect our hearts without us realizing it…

For me, it was like a pit in my stomach. I knew it was there, yet I kept going back to it. I needed to see, as though making myself feel horrible was justified. I’d see someone else’s way of doing things, and immediately feel like my way was wrong. Like I was somehow less than because they seemed to have it together. “Seemed”.

As a new mom, this feeling really sprang to “life”. I wanted to follow other new moms and watch them mother. “Be inspired”. Well, no, that wasn’t the case. Because as I watched, I felt that yucky comparison bug creep up and begin to itch.

For example. A wonderful lady I followed on IG and had heard speak at a conference was finally pregnant after 10 years of trying and waiting. Amazing! As she shared online about having a journal for her soon-to-be-born son, that she would give him when he was 18, I immediately felt like I should be doing the same, when I wasn’t. What kind of mother AM I?!! I immediately felt like my mothering was less than, rather than celebrating a great idea and that another boy in this world will have a mom who adores him. Rather than being inspired and taking a great idea, I felt like I was doing it all wrong.

You see. Sometimes I look at social media for inspiration. When in actual fact, then, I was looking to it to somehow confirm what I felt. And the issue would just keep growing until I addressed it. I’ve had to stop following people. I’ve had to sit myself down for time-outs and really ask myself why I felt so threatened by someone else’s success. I’ve had to take complete breaks from social media altogether.

Bearing my sin and soul here… I wanted to be the best. At everything. Good grief, what pressure!!! You know that saying, that comparison is the thief of joy? So true. And rather than celebrating your success – as a mother, as an entrepreneur, as a wife, or as anything – I felt like it somehow took away from my own success and progress.

How wrong I was.

Maybe you need to hear what I needed to hear… Stop waiting for someone else’s permission to flourish. And start dealing with what limits you.  Comparison. Fear. Doubt. Perfectionism. Whatever it is. It’s time we start stepping out, celebrating other’s success, and cheering each other on! And letting yourself grow strong. Because I do believe that God loves to shine His strength through us.

The tides are turning in my heart. You know how I know?

…Because now as I watch young moms at the same stage as me, my heart is now rejoicing. Yay YOU! 

…Because I have exercised since January, sticking to my goal for the first time EVER, after seeing a great mom-preneur do it. I thought, Well, if she can exercise with all her to-do’s then so can I! And I now have muscles in places I never have. One year after having a baby!

…Because instead of feeling like someone else’s success impedes on my own, my heart is starting to shift to celebrate theirs.

…Because my husband and I laugh more, at ourselves, and each other, even in a season of unknown.

My heart is starting to see that I can be who God wants ME to be, and that if you are doing well, that in no way means that I am not!! Oh comparison thief, be gone! Only the work of the Holy Spirit in conviction and healing can do this.

If social media feels yucky for you. Take a break. If mine doesn’t inspire or challenge you, then please, stop following, and take a break! But if you feel like you can celebrate alongside me with my successes and vulnerabilities, then I welcome you here for the journey.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts, ABOVE ALL ELSE. Our hearts are the soil of our life. Make sure it’s fertilized well so the good seeds can grow.

And go on and be free to flourish. For His glory.

xo

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  • fifimcleod April 26, 2017 at 3:54 PM

    Great read! I love how down to earth your writing is. 🙂

    • Lani April 27, 2017 at 9:08 PM

      Thanks so much!!!

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