Ten years ago I bought a 960sq ft townhouse, built in 1955 as military housing. I was drawn to the large windows and hardwood floor. It was my first home and required a lot of “lipstick” to make it look pretty again. It had the typical 90’s burgundy and forest green paint, complete with wallpaper trim and sponge paint (yes, SPONGE PAINT!). The weekend I moved in I had family and friends help with painting and clean up, and we celebrated with some pizza at the end of it.
But that place was mine, and I was so proud to own it after years of renting. It was the boom of 2007 and everyone was buying. I had friends buying houses that were larger, but this was what my bank account could afford (barely!). Fast forward to newlywed life, and Troy and I lived for the first four months of our marriage in a 500sq ft upper garage suite while our house was being built. It seemed cramped at the time, but it was the most wonderful gift of simplicity we could’ve asked for as we learned each other as husband and wife.
Now, we have a 2,500sq ft home to love and tend to. It takes more time, more money, and more effort to keep it up than that townhouse ever did. But it’s ours, and we love it for the season that we are here.
As I sit here typing, the sun has been up for an hour and a half (oh for early spring mornings!), and my mind is alert. Counting the minutes to when my baby wakes and our day starts. Most mornings I am up by 6:30, but this past week I have been waking and wanting to be up earlier. Like 6am! 3-4 times a week I try to get in a workout and time with the Lord (shower time is sporadic!) before Elizabeth wakes up between 7:15-7:30. These moments of time on my own are fewer than pre-motherhood, but I feel like in the years previous, God has been teaching me how to make space for Him in the time I have. Make Him a priority first thing in the morning. For me, that began mostly when I lived in England and has continued to this day. I crave Him, more and more not out of tradition or act, but out of wanting to know the One who made and saved me and is renewing me day by day.
So for right now, I am working with space I have been given, and letting (TRYING!) God make it beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Last night I went to bed bemoaning to Troy about how I need more creative time. Of all the things I want to do and just don’t have time for as a full-time mom. And I am challenged this morning, in the moments I have with my Father before the day begins, to work with what I have. To make space to meet with Him, to work with intention at what I have been given, and see what God does with it. Rather than compare to the creative square footage of someone else, I am convicted of giving God the landscape I have and do my best to make space for Him to lead, love and move in it.
If you have little time for anything else right now, make what space you have to meet with the Lord, and see how HE will make it beautiful. In its time. Pressure off. Stop comparing (preaching to the choir here!). Swing open the door and let God decorate the proverbial house you’ve been given, no matter how big or small it is.
Own it, sister, to own it.